Get Innocuous!

Bah-di-ba-da-di-ba-dah-ta-bang-ta-bang-diggy-diggy:

Three little sex stories cooked up for you (somebody) by Karl and Moi:

1. Roommate Action

Roommate A walks in on Roommate B getting head from Roommate B's friend, Friend A. This is surprising to Friend A, who bites down on Roommate B's dick. Friends A swallows dick -- comic hilarity ensues.

2. Coke Action

Cokehead A puts coke on his dick and makes Cokehead B suck it. Cokehead B's mouth gets all numb and slobbery. Facefucking ensues.

3. Alien Action

Warning: I can't go to sleep in David's room along because I'm scared aliens will come in when I'm sleeping! Thanks a lot, Unsolved Mysteries.

Roomate A sleeps in his room. Wakes up to Alien A sitting next to the bed. Frozen in horror, he is paralyzed as Alien A reaches over and masturbates him, helplessly. At the foot of the bed, Alien B and Alien C dance around. Alien A masturbates it furiously until Roommate A is just about to come -- then stops -- then starts up again. Alien B and Alien C descened into marathons of fucking. Horror ensues for days.

Post-Note:

Not really anything worth noting. Karl and I ARE collecting stores for a very short six-episode show based off of Unsolved Mysteries we like to call Curious Events. Episode themes may involve ghosts that rape straight men ("I could feel my anus expanding and contracting, but nothing was inside it -- later on I could feel ectoplasm seeping out of me."), caves full of Sasquatches in the Pacific Northwest with internet access and minds dedicated to out popular culture (names in the works are Pitchforkquatch and Billboardquatch, who are both nemeses, and Newsweeksquatch and Twittersquatch), the aforementioned extraterrestrial demon masturbators, and possibly some shit involving "inconvenient spontaneous combustion."

Just thoughts. Gimme yours.